Drugs & Pills Disorders
After my relapse 15 years ago, I locked myself up in high doses of anxiolytics to stifle my suffering and my fear of abandonment in addition to alcohol.
I got on a zombie train where there is no joy or pain, a train without emotions. I hid anxiolytics everywhere to make sure I wouldn't run out. I also took ecstasy to find a semblance of illusory and equally manufactured emotions.
But how could I find a real life, meet a companion, love if I remained locked up in a chemical cage. To find one's emotions is to accept to find joy but also sorrow. Each piece has two sides and it takes the shadow to see the light.
What an extraordinary joy to find oneself alive and full of emotions
I've been there and been through it.
You can too.
Pick up a phone instead of a pills or any drug.
I'm here for you.